I just wasted two hours of my life watching Salt. Movies about Russian spies that have any potential of sucking should not be allowed to be made. Sadly this film was. The worse, and highly unbelievable, scene was when Salt (Angie) would repeatedly taser a cop to thrust his leg forward, to apply pressure to the accelerator. I don't think this can work. Yes, when someone is tasered they violently shake, but I don't  think they thrust their foot down on the pedal. Then this great scene end with of course, Salt driving the car over a bridge, and she walks away without a scratch. The tagline for the film should have been, if you going to drive a SUV off a bridge, grab onto a backseat and you'll be okay!

Well, at least this Christmas season I got to watch one of my favorite movies of all time, and my definitely my favorite Christmas movie, Christmas Vacation. It is one of funniest films I've ever seen, but the thing I love about it is that every time I watch it I noticed another small joke. As a kid I watched it with my parents on t.v., but more than a few years we bought it on VHS. We realized one Christmas how raunchy it is. there more than a few swear scenes I don't remember seeing. I do remember being really young and after the massacre scene of Clark not getting a bonus, he asks his father how he got through the Holidays. He responds by saying he got a lot of help from Jack Daniels. As a kid I always wondered who Jack Daniels was.

One argument I had with my best friend growing up was which Christmas movie is better, Christmas Vacation or A Christmas Story? I present a simple argument of why Christmas Vacation is better.

1. the cast: Chevy Chase, Julia Louis Dreyfus, Randy Quaid, etc.
2. written by: John Hughes
3. the setting: Chicago!

Do I need to say more? I think I may not marry a woman if she believes A Christmas Story is a better film.

Aunt Bethany 

"Oh, did I break wind?"

I really have been enjoying The Prestige by Christopher Priest. It is so exciting to see the similarities to the film, but the differences as well. The main differences I've noticed so far are that the novel is framed by a descendant of one of the magicians almost a century later. It is so interesting to see what Christopher Nolan took and left out of the novel, and thinking about the possible reasons why. And a 100 pages or so in, is as good as the film.

At the same time, I am also really enjoying In the Middle of the Night. The last short story I read, Crossing Over, involved a gut wrenching scene, with black face, that left me thinking: wow I feel bad for that character (who was white). I don't think there are many authors that can pull that off, and it excites me that I will be begin a class led by Daniel Stolar in a week or so.

While skimming through Largeheartedboy's blog, I stumbled upon his best of 2010 lists, and his best short story collections list in particular. One that particulary caught my eye was "The Name of the Nearest River" by Alex Taylor. It is now being shipped to Mayfair, my local library. Another that caught my eye, months ago was the graphic novel was Dark Rain, by Mat Johnson and Simon Gane. River is about tales from the south , and Taylor has been compared to Faulkner. I feel, lately, that if somebody is compared to a classic, such as the Tallest Man being compared to Bob Dylan, and those comparisons are coming from reliable, thoughtful people, they tend to be true. I hope I am correct in that assumption. Dark Rain is about post Katrina N'Orleans. It is not at currently at the library, but Johnson's other works are.

Largehearted has features where the authors list music that goes with their work or was listened to while they wrote or whatever. Johnson and Taylor listed R.L. Burnside, Townes Van Zandt and Junior Kimbrough. I love this section, music notes, and I aspire to list songs that either inspire me, or that i was listening to before or while I write.

I searched for my favorite ornament for almost an hour,

because as Batman, he is the hero my Christmas tree 

deserves, and the one it needs. 

My folks' Christmas ornament, made over 25 

years ago. I admire my dad's beard. Rick Sutcliffe doppelganger? 

 No presents!

We spent part of our Christmas day "shooting" deer. 

This buck is giving me the Palin. 

He must have liked the stale rye bread I gave him.

Some gifts for myself (Euro, Zen, Trash, Tinkers) 

and some gifts received (Ruins and Avatar). 

I would like to finish or read all of these by summer. 

Loved Drugged (a biased B-), Slow Trains (D-)

Live Nude Girl (A-), The Middle of the Night (A-, so far)

Tinderbox Lawn (B, so far) McSweeney's  (N/A)

Daddy's(N/A) 

Students across the pond violently protested after Parliament passed legislature that would result in tripling tuition. They flooded the streets and threw stones at the Queen. Seeing the clips put a smile of my face. Not because I dislike the Queen, but I enjoyed watching students expressing their frustrations. It also saddened me a little bit as an American student. My tuition has gone up every year, (and for the last 15 years at DePaul) and we sit back and do nothing. I can't imagine any right minded (but not right wing) throwing rocks at Obama. Of course, it isn't completely Obama's fault that college tuition is so high, and he did pass legislation that makes paying off student loans easier, but what college students did for him in Iowa should not be forgotten and he could do more things to combat prices for books.

I've been listening to The Smith Westerns' Weekend a lot lately. I'm not sure how I feel about them. Watching the video on pitchfork, with the band hanging out at the HIP and bunny hutch, brings up mixed emotions. There is some nostalgia, but at the same time I want to bunch the guitarist, who goes to DePaul in the face. There are a few reasons for this. One he, and the rest of the band, went to Northside prep, which isn't that bad (except when umpires are stupid and confuse Northtown with Northside, but i digress) but now is at DePaul and is famous and touring around the world. Also, he just has one of those faces that I really want to punch. I feel like I've seen him before. We are the same age, and if he went to Northside and goes to the HIP and the bunny hutch he could have gone to St. Eds, which could easily merit a punch in the face.
He also looks like the actor, Jesse Einsberg who played the Facebook creator in the Social Network. I just saw this really annoying interview with him by Time, about pop culture, and he talked about he doesn't own a t.v. or go see movies. He also said he just discovered baseball. WTF? I wanted to punch him in the face after that comment. I thought he was okay in Zombieland and Adventureland, but I was shocked to see he got a golden globe nomination for the Social Network. I know Fincher directed it, but how good can a movie about Facebook be, honestly?

Oh and Mr. Nolan finally getting his dues for the Dark Knight. I really enjoyed Inception, but it is a make up nomination for the snubbed Dark Knight. Also, it didn't feel like an Golden Globe/ Oscar winner. I think Black Swan or the King's Speech will win, even though I haven't seen both yet. The Fighter looks good only for Bale, but Mark Wahlberg as best actor? I can't take him seriously after the SNL Mark Wahlberg talks to goats skit. I liked him in the Other guys, but he always seems too melodramatic. It will probably go to Franco. The best musical or comedy category is sad. Red?! The Tourist?! Burlesque?! Alice in Wonderland?! They all looked horrible.

I just watched the trailer for The King's Speech. WOW! That is a Golden Globe/Oscar winner. I could see Firth/Rush/Carter winning all three. For Best Television Drama, once again Friday night Lights was left out. Breaking Bad's normal spot was taken by The Walking Dead, which I'm okay with. But, the lame Good Wife   should not be in there. Either should Hugh Laurie. Kyle Chandler deserves to be nominated.

The Sox  signed Jesse Crain, in a move that really helps the bullpen. Lee signs with the Phillies. That clears a potential path for the Sox to the World series, but the rotation of Hallady, Lee, Oswalt and Hamels may be one of the best in recent history. but if one of them struggles (Hamels?) and another gets hurt (Oswalt?) the Phillies could have trouble. They will miss Werth more than they think and will have to start moving players (Blanton, Rollins, Ilbanez?) to clear salary space for Lee's contract. It is looking to be one of the most exciting seasons, since the Sox one in '05, and were looking to repeat. I hate to say it, but I would like the Cubs to compete, for Santo's sake.

Dunn and Brief Interviews

Wow, Kenny, can I trust you? $56 million over four years. I can swallow it, if and only if they also resign Konerko. I was slightly relieved, after learning A.J. had been resigned, but this move still makes me a little nervous. The Sox let Jenks become a free agent, and did give Alexi the raise he deserves. Now, do the Sox have enough to resign Konerko and J.J. Putz? I think Reinsdorf has the money to do so, and Kenny could make it happen. One reason I could see Konerko resigning is because he is in the same boat as he was the last time he was a free agent. The Sox traded Rowand for Thome before they resigned Konerko. I think one the reasons Konerko took less money was because he felt the move made the team better and put them in a better position the repeat.

A few things I have found out today about Dunn are that is very similar to Thome. A younger version though. At 31, he is supposed to be great in the clubhouse, has only missed a handful of games in his career and hit half of his home runs last year at his unfriendly hitter home park. A lineup of Pierre, Beckham, Konerko, Dunn, Rios, a not so serious Quentin, Alexi, A.J., Morel/Teahen sounds great.

I really enjoyed Brief Interviews with Hideous Men, the film. Over the summer I had got Infinite Jest from the library, but upon getting, and seeing its length, I decided I wasn't going to read it. It sat on my shelve for 3 weeks. I still don't think I' ready to tackle it, but after seeing BIWHM, I wouldn't mind reading the book.

smokelong, please be my friend

I submitted two 30 word stories last night to Smokelong Quarterly. It is my first time submitting to a major publication. My stomach is in knots. I think I need to forget about them, and not worry about the announced results in mid December.  Here they are:

                                              Quiz

                Is it centripetal or centrifugal motion?

            Her hands are playing whack-a-mole on my crotch.

            I inch under my desk. Her hands are huge.

            I gulp. I’m going to fail Physics. 

and

                        Escape Plan

       She plops onto my bed. Luckily, I’m bored.

            I put my hands on her knee caps, my lips

            over hers. Her tongue slides down my

            throat. I bite it, hard. 

It's long johns weather. I want to stay at home and eat paninis and soups all day, and read and write. i started to outline a story on the bus yesterday, and later expanded on it at night. It all relates to my future baseball centric chapbook (possible mini novel?) One idea was a jumping off Field of Dreams. Instead of it being set in a corn field, it will be in a forest, much like the forest in the burning of the bat. I want the focus to be about the origins of baseball, (particularly the diamond) being as if it was almost Stonehenge-like. i also like the idea of greek gods being behind the creation of baseball. Zeus sitting up in the clouds, would throw down thunderbolts that would burst open mighty oaks. The splinters would become the first baseball bats. I don't want to give too much more away; it's still developing.  

A couple of nights ago I was googling to see if anyone had a blog name similar to mine. I couldn't find any, but I did find an interesting article about Ted Williams. It said that Ted Williams could smell the seams of the ball and the bat burning upon contact. I've heard that Williams could see the ball hitting the bat, but i cant fathom the senses it takes to smell stitches hitting bat. Of course, Williams was the last player to hit .400, and it while it isn't impossible, I believe it is the modern day equivalent of a pitcher winning 300 games. 

Since I'm on the topic of baseball, I might as well talk about the off season. This may be the most important off season in White Sox history, even more so than the perfect off season leading to the '05 season. With Paul Konerko and A.J. as free agents, the White Sox must make the right decision to sign them both, but more importantly, Konerko. With last year's debacle (in some fan's eyes) of not re signing Thome, they must do the right thing and resign the face of their organization. I would argue that Konerko has done more for this organization than Frank Thomas. Konerko, if signed, could eventually break more than a few of the Big Hurt's records. Konerko is 90 home runs, about 300 hits and about 310 RBI behind the Big Hurt. If Konerko gets the four year contract he wants and deserves, he could come close to breaking some of those records: the hits and RBI and maybe the home runs, if he has a 3 more 25 ish  home run season and then the change for his final year. He is only 34, he is one the most underrated defensive first basemen in the A.L, and not only is the captain, but also has done so much for numerous charities during his years here. 

While Konerko is the captain, A.J. leads the pitching staff. The way he has handled Danks and Floyd the last three seasons has been incredible. A.J. doesn't catch Buehrle often (A.J. does need his rest, and it sometimes falls on those days) but with him working with Coop, they commandeer the best pitching staff in baseball. It will only better next year. Even if Peavy misses a month or so, that means more Chris Sale, and we will have Edwin Jackson for a full season. Our one through five is the best in baseball, and A.J. needs to be catching them. He did have a little bit of an offensive slump last season, but he has constinently hit for average throughout his career, and more importantly does all the little things right. He is a great base runner, in terms of being aware, not speed, can bunt guys over, has stepped up when put in the two hole, and lives up the mantra of being the guy that all other teams hate, but is loved by his own teammates. 

I will question my loyalty as a Sox fan if they let both Konerko and A.J. go. I won't understand if reasoning if they let Konerko go as well. Who will replace him? they are not in a rebuilding phase with the pitching staff they have. I do not want to see Dayan Viciedo take over Konerko's spot (I do however want to see Brent Morel get a chance over Teahen). There are no other free agent first basemen who can replace Konerko. Dunn? No way. Not for the money he wants. He strikes out too much, and isn't a good first baseman. Lyle Overbay? No thank you. Berkman or Johnson? Yankee rejects. Derek Lee? Hah. The only reasonable replacements for Konerko would be Pujols or Adrian Gonzalez. I know that is wishful thinking, and both players are superior to Konerko, but both are will be free agents in '12ish and on struggling teams. Could a sign and trade of Konerko, Floyd and some good prospects bring in one of those two. I don't think so, but never underestimate Trader Kenny. 

The same could be said for A.J. I don't think the Sox believe Tyler Flowers is their catcher of the future because if he was, he would have played much more last season. More importantly who can replace what A.J. does? Varitek? No way. His offensive numbers for the last few years have been horrible, worse than A.J. was slumping. Miguel Olivio? Nope, because he isn't as good as A.J. and resigning would mean Kenny admitting it was a mistake to trade him in the first place- which it seemed like at the time, until they signed A.J. Russell Martin? Maybe. He slumped offensively last year before getting hurt, but who knows if he'll end up on the market. He has always been known for his hustle, but personality wise, I like the fact that A.J. complements Konerko. I know A.J. isn't known for throwing out base stealers, but he knows how to handle this pitching staff.  

With the Sox surplus of starting pitching, I could see them trading Danks or Floyd for a hitter. I wouldn't have a problem with it, unless it involves the Royals. Kenny, no more trades with Royals. I would like the Sox to sign both Konerko and A.J. and i would love to see Jayson Werth. If Quentin and Floyd have to be moved to have enough money for Werth so be it. If Konkero and A.J. are resigned, are infield is set, even with the raise Alexi deserves (Jeter didn't deserve the Golden Glove, but I do admire him for being with Minka Kelly) and should get. A.J., Konerko, Beckham, Alexi, and a combination of Morel, Vizquez, Teahen and Dayan sounds like a good infield to me. Rios and Pierre in the outfield. I would like to see Werth and Quentin, but I don't think that's possible. If they just resign the two, all the need  to worry about is getting another arm for the bullpen.

Jenks mostly like will be let go, and Linebrink can not be trusted anymore. if Sale starts, or Pena does, they will be tired. Also, Sale isn't used to pitching that much. He straight out of college. Santos hasn't been pitching long either. The Sox need to not only resign Putz, but someone as well, a former closer perhaps, to step in if Thornton. I wouldn't mind the Sox signing Jenks: he has played well for them, and was so important during the '05 season. I do thin their relationship is behind repair, and the only way he would help the Sox would be if he would be their partial closer, which I think would cause more problems. When he was struggling and Ozzie went to a closer by committee, that was when their bullpen was the strongest. But, that situation is like playing with fire. Eventually someone will be the most dominant, and egos will be bruised. 

That is enough for tonight. I am officially caught up on the Office. I have start watching Parks and Rec and have been enjoying it. I picked up the McSweeney's issue staring Hannah Pittard (cool DePaul Professor). The librarian had trouble scanning it; it was complexly wrapped. When I got a chance to open, I found in one of the sleeves, short stories on playing cards. I think the stories were about all the cards in a deck. looked pretty cool. I got my coat and shoes in the mail a few days ago. I'll post pictures of them shortly. I also cleaned my room today, and straightened out my movie and book shelves, after adding the new ones that came in the mail. 

I will also post pics of my Christmas tree!             

The Boy Who Lived, and his awesome friends

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1:

3.5 burning bats of out 4

The third Potter book and film had always been my favorites in the series. After seeing part 1 last night though I may  have a new favorite. The opening scene of Bill Nighy's character's chilling speech to the wizard community and the chilling scene with Hermoine and her family set the one for not only the darkest, but deepest Potter film yet.

I, like many fans of the series, felt that Harry himself had a horseshoe stuck up his ass. I think the same can be said about Daniel Radcliffe. I am not in love with him as an actor, as he still struggles with really dramatic scenes. I mean he's been doing them since he was about 10, he should have it down. Also he desperately needed to shave during the film (the live in a tent bigger then my room). I think though that he may be just playing the part well, or he is just surrounded by such a good cast. This film had so many characters that I who have read all the books, had trouble remembering all of them. They pop up and then disappear too often. But, Part 1 centers on the coming of age of Harry, Hermoine and Ron, and because of this focus, the film succeeds, largely to Rupert Grint, who plays Ron.

It's early and may be a stretch, but I believe Grint deserves a best supporting actor nomination (I also believe he will be the most successful of the three). He not only plays Ron spot on, but also makes him more real than the books did. The way he portrays the jealousies Ron feels about being thought of as second to Harry, but also the doubt that creeps into him about Hermoine's true feelings for him were perfect. His humor is natural and dead on, and so are his interactions with Hermoine.

The choice to break up the final book into two films was necessary. I felt there was too much missing from the beginning in this film (Mad eye moody scene, c'mon!), but luckily it was replaced by Harry and Hermoines being bummed out, and sitting under trees or in brilliant back drops. The cinematography was great, especially contrasting the sometimes dizzing scenes in London. When Wizards transport (i know thats not the right word) does it have to make my head hurt? It has happened in the last few films, the bodies twisting into a vortex. Why can't they just puff, disappear?

Oh, and it was great to see Emma Watson on the big screen for a good hour and a half, and she plays Hermoine perfectly. She's worth the price of admission, but her on screen boyfriend steals the show.

Happy Turkey Day

I stuffed my face with food today and gave thanks for my family (those that I like) and friends. I don't have much to write tonight. I thought i'd list some goals for my long winter break:

submit a 30 word story to Smokelong Quarterly (by the end of the month!)
submit to PANK.
submit to Slow Trains.
find other places to submit.
before submitting revise like hell.
put ideas onto page (bribe fingers to collaborate with brain)
read from the ever increasing tower of lit. on my nightstand.
find more interesting authors to read, add to tower.
download music, review it.
do yoga, some push ups.
bake bread.
eat lots of soup.
wear long johns as much a possible.
research grad schools.
grow civil war quality beard.

First post

Today is the birth of my blog. I will post flash fiction, short stories, poetry, prose poetry, book/ album/movie/t.v.show reviews, sports commentary, pictures and random thoughts. I am a junior creative writing major at DePaul. I dream of being published, being the youngest author of One Book, One Chicago and running around New Zealand. I am currently sitting in my parent's kitchen, watching the dishes dry themselves. I am wearing a Croatian soccer jersey. I am not Croatian, I think.

What I'm reading:   Live Nude Girl by Kathleen Rooney (amazing DePaul professor)
                              Tinderbox Lawn by Carol Guess (lent to me by KR)
                              Love Drugged by James Klise (my high school librarian)

On Deck:               Slow Trains Overhead by Reginald Gibbon
                              Daddy's by Lindsay Hunter (also lent to me by KR)
                              The Middle of the Night by Daniel Stolar (DePaul professor I'll have next quarter)

In the hole:             Ruins by Achy Obejas (another amazing DePaul professor, who gave me a free                           autographed copy of her novel!)
                             The Devil in the White city by Erik Larson ('bout half way done)
                             In Cold Blood by Truman Capote (reread)

I also did some early Christmas shopping for myself a few nights ago. arriving in my mailbox shortly: Tinkers by Paul Harding, Trash by Dorothy Allison, Zen in the Art of Archery by Eugen Herrigel and Best European Fiction ('11) edited by Alexander Hemon. I had also ordered films: Reprise, (which arrived today, and a review of it will be up shortly) The Fall and The Prestige. I also ordered some new shoes and a new coat.

What's coming out of the ear phones:          Sidewalks (Matt and Kim)

Soon to be downloaded:                            All Day (Girl Talk)
                                                                 My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (Kanye West)
                                                                 Best of Gloucester County (Danielson) featuring Jens Lekman  AND Sufjan Stevens!

I think that is enough. The 'Hawks and Sharks are calling.

The Burning of the Bat

It was a pitch at the hands that cracked the bat, and the split was heard throughout the deep forest. The batter dropped the bat upon making contact. First he looked down at his red hands, then at the massacre that lay at his feet. A treme run through the handle of the timber. The infield huddled around it, kneeling, caps bowed. The catcher picked up the splintered sultan swatter, and placed it in the middle of the fire pit. Pine tar and sunflower seeds were placed beside it, under a tepee of dry logs. When the sun fell, the fire was lit, and propelled by unused mosquito repellent and greasy pizza boxes. The fire grew to 60 feet 6 inches, but the players remained. There were no hymns and campfire songs, and no playing capture the flag under the starlight. They all just watched the bat slowly burn. The gloss made the bat glow; the fire curve. As the fire died, the bat turned from oak to ash. The players retreated to their cots, with their mitts under their pillows and their stirrups still on and fell asleep, but dreamed no more. When the sun returned, they huddled around the remains of the bat and each of them wiped the ashes under their eyes, as eye black.