wow

thanks hobart

this is the dream, my dream. a baseball chapbook.


http://goldwakepress.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/boxjoseph.jpg

Really?

Are all Southern congressmen trying to one up each other in terms of being despicable? Good job, Tennessee: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110520/ap_on_re_us/us_xgr_tennessee_schools_sexuality

the death of the killer

Picture: Puzzle piece of Harm

The Death of the Killer

There is a symbol and it generally agreed upon who it represents.

But, there was a bar fight once over if the batter is a righty or southpaw.

A southpaw is a lefty, this is a baseball poem, keep up. It's all so silly,

really, because it depends on what dug out you're in. Dug out is my favorite

baseball word (my second favorite is ducksnort (tragedy)) because it makes

baseball seem like it sprang from the earth. Zeus threw some thunder

bolts into a forest and made a grassy knoll. Groundhogs unearthed

the dugouts. I don't know how the bases got there. Tree stump remains?

Dug outs look like trenches, home plate looks like a house and left field looks

like shame. The first inning of my first varsity game freshman year, my knees chattered

in shallow left. The lead off hitter singled and it went through my legs. I turned around 

and dashed after the ball. He tried to take second, but I threw him out. That is my life.

An embarrassment, followed by some luck and a smidgen of skill. My father 

came to every game. He is sitting across from me now, watching the news. Harmon Killebrew

has died today. He was my father's favorite ball player growing up. There is a red chair atop

a wall in the Mall of America. It is 520 feet from home plate, not 439 feet. A physicist was 

brought in to find out the real distance traveled. A Killebrew home run hit that chair. Killebrew

just sounds like a baseball name. There are last names that just sound like ball players. Mine doesn't. 

But, I will always be in left field, knees chattering, picturing the diamond 10,000 years ago.  

Aubrey Plaza, marry me?

Parks and Rec. keeps on getting better and better. April likes Neutral Milk Hotel. Andy says they are "sad, depressing and weird. And art should be happy and fun." Andy is right about the former, but not the latter. Has there ever been a moment in mainstream television where two characters fight over an indie band, and the deeper question, what should art do? This is why Parks and Rec. is so great; it slips this in. Of course it doesn't come back to it, because it turns to jokes about why government matters (it doesn't, Ron Swanson explains to a little girl). Nevertheless, this is one of many reasons why Parks and Rec. is currently the best comedy on television.

Names that are not names?

In my advanced fiction class a woman, who I so admire for writing in genre, wrote a supernatural western piece that contained dopplegangers, the four horsemen of the apocalypse and non stop action. The main character's names was Lourdes. One of our peers, who had to give a little presentation/summary on her piece pre workshop, had never heard of the name Lourdes. He, a white poorly mutton chopped male thought it was pronounced Lords. Somehow he wasn't the only one. A handful of students nodded in agreement, as did our professor (who I love, but grew up on a farm, and had a pony). The author had to pronounce Lourdes. The people who had never heard of the name Lourdes  awed in unison. They tried to say name. They tried to dramatically roll their Rs. I wanted to bang my head against the table. I couldn't see the author from where I was sitting, but I wondered how far her eyes can rolled back.

In retrospect, I shouldn't have been as surprised as I was: everyone comes from different backgrounds that they can't control, and it's Depaul (where the total diversity it self promotes is only in its brochures). I guess I am too close to the name Lourdes. Lourdes was the first woman I....

I have been thinking about if there are any other names that don't sound like names. Ichabod, Kesha, Jensen, Kanye, Blaine, Mort, Biff, etc.Anyway, Elisa Gabbert has an interesting blog post about the names of the Kentucky Derby horses and how they sound like varieties of tomatoes. Here it is:  http://thefrenchexit.blogspot.com/2011/05/kentucky-derby-horse-or-variety-of.html

i want to meet a girl with a color printer and a heavy duty stapler: http://www.featherproof.com/Mambo/index.php?option=com_content&task=category&sectionid=4&id=17&Itemid=41