I don't often

I don't go out to eat often,
because I always end up
leaving my paycheck and
social security number for
pretty waitresses.

I don't ride my bicycle
often, because when I do
my mouth is always open
and fills up with fireflies.

I don't take baths often,
but when I do, I listen to
Chopin, underwater. And
after, I go out and people
try to chit chat with me, but
I respond, "I have water in my
ears" but it is really just Chopin.